At a cozy little island in the ocean down south, a blue sea-fairing traveler landed ashore.

  Wow… This island is beautiful! Just being here makes me excited… Alright! I know what I should do! I'll use this island to make a whole new country, just for me!

  This didn't strike me as the sort of thing that used action movie one-liners.

  Shh!

  What? All I'm asking for is a little consistency. ... Okay I take that back. They're doing that arty filter thing again. I can't believe I'm already tried of it.

  That's right. Don't turn around or put your hands in your pockets. I won't hesitate to kill you here.

  N-No... It couldn't be, thought Penber. His voice... I've heard it somewhere!

  But first, I am going to prove to you that I am Kira. Do you see the man over there at the coffee shop? That's right, the one sweeping the floor. I'm going to kill him just for you.

  You know, two extremely androgynous guys in a public space cooingly whispering into eachother's ears is definitely the manliest thing I have ever – woah, oh shit. My attempts to be sarcastic failed spectacularly given the sudden and violent death of underdeveloped character #36.

  If an American were to slide off the Ambassador Bridge, their first and very immediate impression of Canada would be a strip club. Studio 4's upfront box sign shows a tall and thin bikini model. The image is monochrome; except for the bikini, highlighting the breasts and pelvis in deep red. The club is located on the corner of Tecumseh and Huron Church Road, the second and most accessible intersection after crossing the border. On the far side of the street stands a gathering of big-box stores, fast food joints, and branded chain shops, behind which local businesses are present – hidden from view. The fungal growth of commercial enterprise and consumer outlets remains consistent along Tecumseh Road, from Studio 4 through the entire width of Windsor. It pierces the neighboring municipalities, fading only when the road dissipates into the countryside, around an almost-nameless area known as Lighthouse Cove.

  The startpoint location of Studio 4 suggests that Tecumseh Road and all its commercial value is the final momentous ejaculation of everything that came before it. Behind Studio 4 huddles a residential district from where Tecumseh Road sprouts at the intersection of Prince and Matchette Road, with Matchette being the main connector. The union between them is crooked, each road strung onto the other at obtuse, non-perpendicular angles.

  Matchette Road is a forty five second drive away from the US-border crossing. It stretches from Windsor to the township of LaSalle, and it is unclear to what region the road belongs. As of this moment, Matchette does not have a Wikipedia page, though many of its surrounding roads all do: Malden Road, Sprucewood Avenue, EC Row Expressway, and Ojibway Parkway. Furthermore, even though Matchette is more than six times the size of a common suburban avenue, it does not have the distinction of being a county road like the others that surround it.

  For commuters going in and out of Windsor, many of the city's inbound arteries (Huron Church, Walker Road, Dougall Avenue) tend to congest with traffic. Using a back road like Matchette offers a scenic long route that turns into a stress-saving shortcut during rush hour. However, the first thing drivers will notice when traversing Matchette is that Canadian Public sphere radio channels will all give way to strong static and white noise. This is the case with CBC radio's local AM and FM stations, even though the broadcast transmitter is no more than eight kilometers away in the city's core.

  Matchette Road acts as a division of realities, slicing between the ostensibly natural areas of Malden and Ojibway against the skyline of old Windsor City port, where most non-automotive industrial businesses were once found. Locals pronounce Matchette as MATCH-ette, a little match. Those foreign to Windsor might confuse it for the word machete, ma-CHET-ey, a large knife, for the road does cut across the earth, its surroundings a festering wound to the city, an injury which the locals conspicuously ignore.

  The story of Christmas was reinvented to better fit modern society!

  The three wise men followed the brightest star in the sky to the wilderness of the Swiss countryside. Over a cliff, they came upon the Large Hadron Collider, floating in existential illusion as the fabric of reality twisted the surroundings.

  They entered, and a lineup of Half-Life NPCs gathered to honour their arrival. The mood was somber, quiet, nervous. They led the wise men to the central testing room, where, upon a mass of flaming hot coals, lay baby Diskmaster, our lord and saviour.

  Each wise man presented him gifts: a 3.7 ghz processor, a bag of severed limbs, and a used copy of Theatre of the Absurd by Martin Esslin.

  EXT. MAIN STREET - DAYTIME

Turmoil. Sirens. People rush about. A WOMAN sits on a curb, crying and attended to by hustling paramedics. The firetruck arrives on scene; firemen dismount. A commanding FIREMAN rushes his officers to get closer to the scene with water support. Amidst the chaos, he notices the crying woman. She notices him, ceasing to cry. He advances. She rises and walks forward, casting off the medical blanket and her jacket. In the middle of the confusion, they embrace.